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#8 TOURNAMENTS BUILT FOR SPEED!!!

By Foosball Fanatic

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I hate slow weekly draws...I hate people who run slow weekly draws! And I hate players who make draws even slower! But I like you...the readers of Foosball Fanatic! ;)
Anyways, running a weekly DYP is a generally horrible experience and I equate it to baby-sitting adults. I've retired from running DYP's but I'd consider myself a pro-master of running fast weekly draws! I have no written testimonials to back up this grandios statement except to say that I ran 104 DYP's in a 16 month period averaging 12 teams and we rarely stayed past 12:30PM. This Foosball Fanatic #8 consists of all my best tricks in making your weekly draws run really fast.

RULES, RULES, RULES

#1 Call-ins Yes or No?

If you have the guts...say NO!
Should you allow Call-Ins or not...It's easy to say "do not allow people to call in" but it is alot harder to do it in real life. If you are going to allow call-ins then only allow people to call before a specific cut-off time...let's say half an hour early. For example, for an 8pm DYP, only allow call-ins up to 7:30pm...don't give in! Use a stop watch!!! AND...get this...tell them they must arrive within 30 minutes of the start which would be 8:30pm...if they arrive at 8:31..do not let them play!!! Slap yourself in the face. By making one person happy you make 25 mad!!!

#2 What to do about No-Shows

OK so Gus "The Weasel" Slacker calls in and says he is on the road and will be there. And of course, Gus never shows...I'd like to fucking hammer Gus in the head with a frying pan! But there is no time for that now...you've got a DYP to repair. Gus's partner is probably steamin mad. I say you offer Gus's partner his money back and he can play pick-up games or you offer him his money back and he plays with a member of the first team to lose out of the draw...then flip a coin to select from the two first players out of the DYP. AND...next week tell Gus if he ever does it again he is not allowed to play and he also has to pay $10 this week as a punishment. Gus is a creep...he screwed up your tournament...you don't owe him belly-button lint...he owes you!

#3 Mr.X and Should I Play Now

Should the tournament runner play in the DYP? Well I say you can if there are 8 teams or less...If you're a fast DYP runner then you can do it up to twelve but it really will slow things down. And I would only play if you need an extra person to even out the brackets. If you add a Mr.X then you add an hour to your tournament.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

#4 Throw some quarters around.

Spend $2 in quarters and you'll cut 30 minutes off your finish time: "My quarter fell in the goal"...give Marge a quarter, don't open the table.
"There's still 4 balls left"...we want to play them out for fun...I say No Way...here is 50c, now get the hell off the table. People are happy getting 50c and you will be happy to get the table back in use of the DYP.

<<<OK, here is a really big tip so pay attention>>>

#5 Have $40 in quarters and $40 in $5's and $1's etc in your pocket before a tournament.

OK, now here's the sneaky part...when Gus hands you a Twenty for entry, you give him back a $10, a $5, two $1's and 12 quarters. He will take it because it is real money. He may even spend more money on your tables practicing. It always amazes me when my partner at a DYP gets all ready for game one and then says, wait a minute, I have to go get change for a dollar...For one, you are at a frigging foosbal tournament and you might remember after 5 years that it is a good idea to bring some quaters...and two, how long is 4 quarters going to last...AAAUUUGGGHHH!. Besides giving quarters as change, players can now go to you for change as opposed to the slow bar line.

SLOW POKE RODRIGUEZ AND HIS BUDDIES

Every tournament has at least two of these guys/girls and they are the ones you really gotta herd like cattle.

#6 Get players ready early, Think ahead!

Deside what match is going to be played next before you need to call it. Then look at your tables and see what table is closest to finishing. Then go running to all four players and (big point here...stay awake) then touch them on the arm and say "Gus, you and Johnny have to go over to table 3, it is one ball away from finishing and you're up there". The touch on the arm is critical because then you have there attention...no-no not a punch, and not a homo kind of touch, just a get an attention grab. And tell him there is one ball left even if there are 3 ;) But pre-tell all four players what table they are on early.

<<<OK, this is my biggest tip, really focus NOW>>>

#7 Make Slow Players, or really any players, play two matches in a row!!!

The biggest waste of time is getting playes over to the table. If Gus and Johnny win, they play one more match immidiately...if they lose...they still play one more match immidiately...remember they are slow players and the longer you can keep them at the table, the better. Sure they want a smoke and beer break...but tell them they can have it after the two matches and they will have a longer break. You can even tell them that no matter what, they will play 2 matches in a row so they are mentally prepared to stay...and they are cheep bastards so they won't waste time firing in balls after the first match since they can use them in the second.

Well that's it...if you try any of these techniques you can easily shave one to two hours off your DYP's. Just follow the two biggest tips and I can almost guarantee you can cut off an hour. Thanks for reading.

Later Skater, email me ese

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